View Poll Results: What do you think so far?

Voters
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  • This story is awsome, keep at it

    104 69.33%
  • This story sucks @ss, Ive lost IQ because of it

    30 20.00%
  • Your writing style is a lil dull, I cant stay awake

    16 10.67%
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Thread: [FANFIC] My story called, A Maple Story!

  1. #1
    Jr. Necki SacredOne's Avatar
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    Default [FANFIC] My story called, A Maple Story!

    Thats right, I decided to go on ahead and start posting my story. Please visit my fan fiction to see it >>> http://www.fanfiction.net/~sacredfrost

    Please read them before casting a vote on the poll too. The results of the poll will allow me to tell wheater I should continue or not. Also, the more I hear people coment on the story and want to talk about it the more movtivation I'll have to continue at a good pace.

    STATUS:
    Intro>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 1 - Genesis>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 2 - The Calm before the Storm>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 3 - Eye of the Storm>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>UP
    Episode 4 - A Power Within>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 5 - Betrayal>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 6 - The Meaning of Being Alone>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 7 - Enter Kiki, the Beautiful Swordswoman! > UP
    Episode 8 - Dark Intensions>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 9 - Clear Priorities>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 10 - Dark Plans>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>UP
    Episode 11 - Confrontation (part 1)>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 12 - Confrontation (part 2)>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 13 - Envoy of Death>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 14 - Big Trouble in Little Orbis>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Episode 15 - CLASH! First Contact>>>>>>>>>>>>> UP
    Server: Bera
    NeonFrost - lvl 7x Ice/Lightning Mage (Active)
    NeoRaven - lvl 31 Cleric (Dormant - Mule)
    Read and comment bout my MS story here! FINALLY!!! A new episode is released! Go read up on Episode 15 - CLASH! First Contact

  2. #2
    Slime The1Phantom's Avatar
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    mate, this is a very good story, I'm busting to hear the third part!

    but I reckon you should proof -read the stories a little bit, I think you got a little excited at some parts and just left out huge parts of grammar that make it hard to understand. This is only in some parts, the rest is great1

    Keep it up!

    Broa
    Main Char. -: Scania ShadesBain (Bandit) 4X
    ShadeShot (Hunter) 34

  3. #3
    Jr. Necki SacredOne's Avatar
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    Thank you for your input. Can you tell me where these mistakes are so I can go and fix them. I thought Microsoft Word would cacth all of my mistakes. And I promise the 3rd part will be more exciting. Thats when the action starts :D
    Server: Bera
    NeonFrost - lvl 7x Ice/Lightning Mage (Active)
    NeoRaven - lvl 31 Cleric (Dormant - Mule)
    Read and comment bout my MS story here! FINALLY!!! A new episode is released! Go read up on Episode 15 - CLASH! First Contact

  4. #4
    Jr. Necki
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    Hmm...noting to say
    Power By MapleSEA

  5. #5
    Thanatos LoveMehKissMeh's Avatar
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    Holy crapping hell. The best adventure I've heard! Sizzer sound most like me, knock off the intelligents :)

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
    Proud leader of UnderMyWings. Under my Dispel's wings.

  6. #6

    Default

    zomg book plox <3
    a manaaah who does not existaaaah

  7. #7
    Slime The1Phantom's Avatar
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    k, here's all of the mistakes I think...

    Zain quickly picks up his head and looks up at Kaizen. Sizzer asks, ‚??May I sit?‚?Ě Zain looks down at the empty spot and back up to Sizzer, Responds ‚??Ummm, sure.
    This isn't really a grammatical mistake, but I'm not sure where Kaizen came from...lol

    Sizzer replies, ‚??Ruder is right, even though you made a lot of mistakes back then and lots of difficulties. You‚??ve grown at an amazing rate since when your sis first introduced you to us.‚?Ě
    Is there a missing word here? Not sure but it doesn't sound right.

    After the conversation between Zain, Ruder, and Sizzer ended there was a brief pause. No one spook a word.
    should that be spoke?

    The intercom in the ship‚??s cabin then relayed the captain‚??s voice, ‚??We‚??re experiencing some turbulence. Please stay situated until we are able to work is through it.
    This is the worst of them I think. I think you might have AC'ed the change button in spell check here :o

    Andrea and Kaizen were equal distance from the ladder. They both looked at each other, Kaizen made a gesture letting her know that he was letting her go first.
    This one's being picky by me, but the comma in the middle should be a full stop.

    Then he turned around and stared at Zain. His stare was so odd; Zain was able to tell what he could possibly be thinking.
    I think this should be the negative?

    That's all of part 2 I think, I might do part 1 tomorrow. Sorry, but its getting late and I need some sleep.

    Glad I could help though, and did you edit some parts already? It sounded even better the second time I read it :o [/quote]

    Broa
    Main Char. -: Scania ShadesBain (Bandit) 4X
    ShadeShot (Hunter) 34

  8. #8

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    Andrea and Kaizen were equal distance from the ladder. They both looked at each other, Kaizen made a gesture letting her know that he was letting her go first.
    Isn't Kaizen used again in that passage?
    The story is good, but you should proofread it. The spell check mainly checks for real words rather than grammar mistakes.
    I quit maplestory about 5 months ago (february 2006) (

  9. #9
    Slime
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    holy crap! That was such a nice story! Can't wait 4 the next episode. Keep up the good work.
    Bootes :
    Lvl 5x Silvershen Wizard ice/lit
    Lvl 3x Kaosdevil Assasin

    Cassiopeia :
    Lvl 3x SkyShoter Xbowman
    Lvl 3x ShiningHeart Wizard fire/psn
    Lvl 1x Bl0odonFire warrior

  10. #10
    Jr. Necki SacredOne's Avatar
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    Ok, thank you The1Phantom for cacthing all of those mistakes for me. They've all been changed and hopefully I dont make the same mistakes while Im doing part 3.

    Quote Originally Posted by The1Phantom
    Glad I could help though, and did you edit some parts already? It sounded even better the second time I read it :o
    Yea, while I was just browseing some parts I found a few errors and corrected them. Didnt think I made so many -_-
    Server: Bera
    NeonFrost - lvl 7x Ice/Lightning Mage (Active)
    NeoRaven - lvl 31 Cleric (Dormant - Mule)
    Read and comment bout my MS story here! FINALLY!!! A new episode is released! Go read up on Episode 15 - CLASH! First Contact

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