Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: [Fan-Fic] A Hero's Memories

  1. #1
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default [Fan-Fic] A Hero's Memories

    First off before I start this Fan-fic, I would like to thank the following people for getting my creative juices flowing.:D

    XxKiraYamtoxX
    Slerotin
    Kon

    Comments and constructive criticism would be appreciated, enjoy the Fan-Fic!


    [Chapter One: A New Beginning]

    The earliest thing I remember from Maple Island is a bright light shining on my face, so I'll start my story from there; "Uhhh" I mumbled sleepily as I tried to block the sun coming down on my face,
    "Hey, are you STILL sleeping!? Get up you lazy bones!" shouted Marisa a bit too loud for someone still half asleep.
    "Huh, oh, uhh what time is it?" I asked sheepishly.
    "5:30am" She replied simply.
    "5:30am!!? But the boat to Victoria Island doesn't Leave till 11:30am!" I complained.
    "So, you should be up this early ever day if you want to make it as a bowman you know! Not everything in Victoria is as simple as squishing a few snails and killing the odd Mushroom!" Marisa tended to make sure no one was ever slacking off, even while sleeping.
    "Yeah, yeah. But what about you? Why should I have to work my ass off while you just sit there and watch me?"
    "Because....uhmm...Oh I hear my phone ringing I better take this!" she said while running off.
    "Oh, ok fine...Wait...You don't have a phone!!" I Shouted while running after her.

    About 15 minutes I found finally found her after running at least a mile, she was sitting there looking all smug with her mischievous grin on her face.
    "What are you so happy about?" I puffed
    "I just got you to run your daily 2 mile Jog!" She laughed.
    "What!? Oh you sneaky little.." I trailed off a large crowd began running out from Southperry screaming "What the **** is that?" or "Monster!!", I gave a quick glance towards Marisa and she seemed to understand where I was going, with that I began sprinting towards the cause of the chaos.
    I soon found out what was causing it but with all my heart and soul I wish I never did.

    Two Crimson Balrogs where tearing up the ship while Shanks was no where to be seen, just then a Crimson Balrog burped out a Three-cornered Hat and I watched it slowly flutter to the ground.
    My worst fear suddenly happened.
    "Roy are you alright...AHHHHHHHHHH" She screamed in pure terror as she saw what was the source of the problem, The leader of the pack started charging of some sort of dark energy..
    No! Marisa is going to get killed!
    "Marisa!! Get out of here!" But it was too late, the Crismon Balrog released his charge and it struck Marisa dead on, right through the heart...

    It kept on replaying itself through my mind over and over again..
    "She couldn't be dead, she can't die..she just can't..."
    But there was Marisa's body a hole through the heart.
    "YOU B@STARDS!! I'LL KILL YOU!!"
    The Crimson Balrog didn't seem to care he just started to charge up another Dark energy strike...for me.
    "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?!? YOU KILLED MY ONLY FRIEND, YOU WILL DIE!!"
    The Crimson Balrog released his strike, time seemed to slow down.
    The strike struck, but it wasn't me who it hit, and the Balrogs seemed to notice that to, the strike had missed!
    Next thing they knew I was behind them, there was a powerful look in my eye, one that would take revenge even if he killed himself trying.
    My eyes were red now, there was a strong energy flowing around me, it had an evil essence. A bow made out of pure dark energy formed in my hands, it felt god to hold it, like it was made for me. I thought.
    I wasn't in control of my body now, it was all new to me but it seemed like I had done it a million times, I pulled back the dark string and a single dark arrow materialized. I let it fire, it flew through the air weightless yet on impact it drove straight through the Balrogs heart, death was immediate but its soul went through the pain of a thousand deaths as it was ripped mercilessly from its dead body. The arrow had trapped its soul in a fate far worse then death, it had to relive the worst moments of its life, over and over again.

    Just after the Balrogs death I lost conciseness almost immediately and woke the following day by the sound the boat gave off when it was just about to leave, I was looking for Shanks and saw someone else there instead I went over to ask what happened to Shanks.
    "Hey, where is Shanks?"
    "Didn't you know what happened yesterday? He was killed by that Crimson Balrog and some other girl was killed too, tragic it was, Shanks was a great sailor and I feel sorry for the girl too, but some guy came and killed it with some dark energy, he looked pretty p!ssed too."
    Reality struck me and remembered what happened, Marisa was dead, I went berserk and killed the balrog...
    But where was her body?
    "Ai mate, will you be buying a ticket?"
    "Sure..." I said as I gloomily got on.

    Comment please!
    3rd Job is here!

  2. #2
    Jr. Necki ThyGamePlaya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    My mommy says I'm not supposed to tell strangers >_>
    Posts
    650

    Default

    MELISSA, POOOOOORRRRRR QUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously though, good start.

    Click to enter my YouTube Channel

  3. #3
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThyGamePlaya View Post
    MELISSA, POOOOOORRRRRR QUUUUUEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously though, good start.
    Thanks :D, New chapter soon!
    3rd Job is here!

  4. #4
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default

    [Chapter Two: An Uneasy Path]

    I was thinking of Marisa for the entire trip to Victoria, I didn't know what to do now, Marisa was always the one who planned everything..
    As I got off the boat some old man was asking for change, I threw in a couple mesos.
    "Hey, kind giver! Somethings on your mind?" Asked the old beggar.
    I didn't feel like talking about it just yet.
    "Lost someone you loved,eh?"
    "How did you know?!" I replied quickly.
    "That look on your face, you just lost a very close friend... But, there is no point going around in a bad mood for the rest of your life, I'm sure she wouldn't want that of you."
    "Yeah, I suppose your right. But I don't want to go around all smiles and people ask "What's with you?" and I'd reply "my friend died", I'd look like a mad case."
    "Mate, you don't understand, your friend died, it doesn't mean her soul is dead, she's still alive, just in a more spiritual sense. She would want you to continue your life, enjoy it. You don't have to be a lunatic to do that,mate."
    "Your right, I've got to finish what me and Marisa started! Thanks old man!" I shouted back as I ran to Henesys.

    Somewhere deep in the dungeon, A Man who would send shivers down your spine at the very sight of him, roared;
    "WHERE IS THAT CRIMSON BALROG!! CRIN!! COME HERE!!" He bellowed, his voice was a truly frightening one.
    "Yes, Dark master?" He replied while bowing so low he was practically kissing the floor.
    "Do you have any news on what happened to that oaf of a Balrog?"
    "Apparently, My Master, some noob killed it with some sort of dark energy."
    "Ahh.. the Hero the prophecy moans about all the time. Did you see what color his eyes were?"
    "I believe as his friend got killed by the Balrog, his eyes started turning red! And a dark energy was flowing around him!"
    "Ahh... One of the Hero's many powers, though the strongest, the most dangerous to his soul and body." mused the Dark Master
    "What is it, My Master?"
    "YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD TELL SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT TO YOU?"
    "M-master, I only thoght.."
    "YOU THOUGHT WRONG! Now leave now before you become obsolete."
    "Y-y-yes my master, as you wish" And with that he vanished.

    Then there was silence one more in the dungeon.

    Comment/Rate Please!!:D
    3rd Job is here!

  5. #5
    Beginner vkaod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    If u can read this then u are too close 2 ur com
    Posts
    46

    Default

    Wow that was great!!!! Keep it up!!

    I bet you will make the best fanfic of all!!

    B.T.W. Why did 1 character have to die so fast??:eek:

    :D
    Are kids the only ones who want to have fun?? People should learn to relaxxx!!!!!!.....zzzzzzz

    Yet here i am, still a noob amongst the pros.

    Stop me if you've heard this one, Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear. Not the absence of fear...

  6. #6
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vkaod View Post
    Wow that was great!!!! Keep it up!!

    I bet you will make the best fanfic of all!!

    B.T.W. Why did 1 character have to die so fast??:eek:

    :D
    You'll see, You'll see.:D
    And Thanks for The comments!
    Rate please!
    3rd Job is here!

  7. #7
    - darksidehero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    3,928

    Default

    naturally the word 'hero' pulled me in and i've read your first and second chapter so far :D
    its really good so far, the 1 character dying so fast was a bit fast, but asides from that, great work!

  8. #8
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by darksidehero View Post
    naturally the word 'hero' pulled me in and i've read your first and second chapter so far :D
    its really good so far, the 1 character dying so fast was a bit fast, but asides from that, great work!
    As I said in my previous post, Marisa dying is all part of the plot.
    And You will see what will happen.
    3rd Job is here!

  9. #9
    Complication. Kon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    At hell, near beelzeboss
    Posts
    849

    Default

    Very nice. Red eyes? I gave you a good idea, I guess. Anyway, it is well written and I like the angry master thing.

    Keep up the good work.

  10. #10
    Slime Xorten's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Henesys, eMS Kradia.
    Posts
    286

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kon View Post
    Very nice. Red eyes? I gave you a good idea, I guess. Anyway, it is well written and I like the angry master thing.

    Keep up the good work.
    Where was the Red Eyes in your fan-fic?
    And I guess red eyes is in a lot of fan-fics, seeing as red usually symbolizes Danger.
    Thanks for the comments. :D
    3rd Job is here!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •