Dajnmonkey's Choose Your Own Adventure : Volume 4 - Boss Rush PQ

[dajnmonkey]

Dajnmonkey's choose your own adventure #4! BOSS RUSH PQ.
Another CYOA story by me. This time, you actually have a definate goal. Rather than advancing aimlessly through the text, you must get to a specific point.

The objective : Get to the end of the boss rush and defeat the Black Mage.
INSTRUCTIONS : You have 100 HP. If the guide says you lose HP, then you do. If it says you recover HP, then go ahead and add that to what you have. You cannot have more than 100 HP, and if your HP goes below 0, you die, and will be forced to quit.
Bosses also have HP. The HP that the boss has will be specified at the beginning of each 'stage'. You can lower the boss's HP through several different ways, just as the boss can recover his own. The boss cannot have more HP than they started with. When the boss's HP reaches 0, no matter where you are, go on to the next stage. (The stages are specified by letters of the latin alphabet [A, B, C, etc.] and you will start at A. When the boss corresponding to A is defeated, go on to section B.
You can also OBTAIN weapons in this game. Let's suppose you get a weapon that increases damage by 9000. So when the game says you do 2 damage, you actually do 9002 damage.
If you get a weapon that multiplies your damage by 1.5, then multiply the damage that you do by 1.5. Be sure that you round up to the nearest whole number. So if the game says you do 5 damage, then you'd actually do 7.5, or 8 damage.
Another equippable item is ARMOR. You can only have one piece of armor equipped at a time, and it is optional to equip as well. The armor will lower all damage that you take.
Whenever you get a weapon, you have the OPTION of equipping it. You do not have to unless specified.
You can also obtain ITEMS. Your inventory is infinate, so you don't have to worry about running out of room. When you obtain an item, it will say how many you got, the item's name, and what it does. The opportunity to use items is in between bosses. (Right after you defeat one, and before you start fighting the next.) You can also use an item as you attack, but you can only use one at a time.
You can also get SKILLS. Skills can do extra damage, and anytime you attack, you can replace the attack with a skill. The skill's boost is added to the regular damage after the boost of your weapon (if you have one). However, skills can only be used a certain amount of times. When you run out of uses, then you can no longer use the skill.
You may only use 1 item at a time, and you can only use one skill at a time. You can use both a skill and an item at the same time.
This story also has ADVENTURES. Every section you read counts as one adventure unless specified otherwise. You usually don't have to count adventures, however, some skills can only be used every few adventures, so keep that in mind as you read.
Yes, this means you might need a piece of paper and a pencil.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TUTORIAL

Spoiler!

TUTORIAL START » You're reading a choose your own adventure story, when suddenly, you are given two choices. A good one, and a bad one.
If you select the good choice, go to Tutorial A.
If you select the bad choice, go to Tutorial B.

Tutorial A - You decide not to think about it too hard, and select the first option. Congratulations, you can read a CYOA story.

Tutorial B - You don't like the looks of that first option, and pick the much more questionable second option. You get impaled by a bridge troll and die a slow, painful death.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Section A - The First Stage

Spoiler!

[A] -
(This boss has 20 HP.)
You, for some reason, feel compelled to kill the Black Mage. Only you're too lazy to actually go out and find him, so you decide to face him in Boss Rush Mode.
You are teleported into the first room. Inside, you see that the room extends almost infinatly upwards. There are walls on all four sides of you, and they aren't too decorated, other than a few CRAPPY NINJA SWORDS that are hung up for display.
A voice calls out to you. "Hey! Get out of my house!" You don't quite know where the voice is coming from. It appears as if it's the walls talking. You figure you should attack the walls if that's true, but you don't have a weapon anyways.
If you decide to fight with your fists, go to A1.
If you decide to grab a CRAPPY NINJA SWORD, go to A2.

[A1] - You're such a cool guy, you don't need a weapon. You decide to fight the boss right away and not waste any more time. But sadly, you still don't know where the boss even is...
If you decide to swing your weapon randomly, go to A3.
If you decide to attack the walls, go to A4.

[A2] - You're not such a cool guy, and decide you need to use a weapon.
~Your weapon is now the CRAPPY NINJA SWORD. All damage you deal is increased by 3~
~You obtained the skill THROW SWORD. This skill does double damage. It can be used once, and after it's use, you lose your weapon.~
You now have a weapon, and can finally fight the boss. But wait, where IS the boss? You can't figure this out at all, and all this yelling doesn't help either. Maybe you should just ignore your ignorance and fight anyways.
If you decide to swing your weapon randomly, go to A3.
If you decide to attack the walls, go to A4.

[A3] - You can't find him, so you assume that he's invisible. You swing your weapon randomly in hopes that you might hit him. As stupid as this plan now sounds, it actually works, but you hit yourself, too. The boss takes 5 damage. You take 0 damage.
If you decide to do this again, go to A3.
If you decide to attack the walls, go to A4.
If you decide to tend to your wounds, go to A5.

[A4] - You decide that the sound MUST be coming from the walls. Because you know, walls can TOTALLY talk. Actually, they can. And they were, right now. The boss takes 10 damage.
If you decide to directly attack the boss, go to A6.
If you decide to pull apart the room, go to A7.

[A5] - You appear to have injured yourself, but you have nothing that can heal your wounds... You decide you should just leave them be.
If you decide to attack the walls, go to A4.
If you decide to pull apart the room in search, go to A7.
If you decide to eat your own shirt, go to A8.

[A6] - You enter an epic fight scene with the boss. The boss takes 10 damage, and you take 5 damage.
If you attack again, go to A6.
If you tend to your wounds, go to A5.

[A7] - You search the room. You pull apart everything, the floorboards, the wallpaper, the CRAPPY NINJA SWORDS, everything! The room doesn't look too good anymore, but your inventory does! The boss takes 20 damage.
~You obtained 3 RED POTIONS, which recover 10 HP.~
~You obtained the WOODEN CLUB. All damage you deal will be increased by 5.~
~You obtained the CRAPPY NINJA SWORD. All damage you deal is increased by 3.~
~You obtained the skill THROW NAILS. This skill does an extra 5 damage. It can be used 10 times.~
If you attack the boss directly, go to A6.

[A8] - You eat your own shirt. It doesn't taste very good, and you throw up a little bit. You lose 10 HP. The boss also uses this chance to drop a nail on your head. You lose 5 HP.
~You obtained 1 bottle of VOMIT, which makes you and your opponent lose 3 HP~
If you attack the boss directly, go to A6.
If you tend to your wounds, go to A5.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Section B - Not just any Meta-Boss

Spoiler!

[B] -
(This boss has 80 HP.)
You launch your last attack on the walls. They all fall over revealing the the boss was actually a room inside of a larger room, and the bigger room has another boss inside. This room is square, with large pillars in each corner and an even bigger one in the center. Then, king slime walks out from behind the largest pillar, (or maybe hops). King slime lets out a mighty squeak, and proceeds to eat the center pillar. You watch as the pillar is digested into shrapnel.
This doesn't look too good... mostly because the King Slime's excretory system leads to his entire body, making him able to shoot whatever he's eaten recently at his foes. And who knows how much fiber that wooden pole had.
If you quickly run for cover, go to B1.
If you decide to attack, go to B2.

[B1] - King Slime looks ready to fire, and you don't want to be around for that. Unfortunately, there's nothing in this room to hide behind except the pillars, and there's no way you can fit back there. But wait... there's still one obvious choice. You dive inside of King Slime and take cover in there. Honestly, I don't know how this is even close to a good idea. King Slime fires you into the wall at a high speed, and takes out a pillar. The whole room shakes, and stuff falls from the sky. You lose 20 HP.
~You've gained the WOODEN PILLAR. All damage you do is multiplied by 2. This effect only works every other adventure~
~You obtained the skill SHATTER. This skill adds 5 damage to your attack, then triples the total damage. It breaks your weapon though~
Continue to B5.

[B2] - Since he can now attack in every direction, you figure it's not worth trying to dodge, so you attack him directly. You hit him as hard as you can and knock a big chunk out of his head. The chunk bounces off the wall and sticks to you making you unable to move. The boss takes 10 damage.
If you eat the slime off of you, go to B3.
If you accept your defeat, go to B4.

[B3] - You eat the slime off of yourself before things get too bad. It's horrible. This is worse than when you ate your shirt. I mean, supposing you did during the last boss fight. Otherwise, this is just weird. The slime you ate fills you up and makes you feel a little sick... but you decide to keep on fightning. Then, King Slime hits you in the stomach with his antenna. You vomit, and fly into a pillar, breaking it. You also take 10 damage.
~You got 5 bottles of VOMIT, which deal 3 damage to you and the boss~
Continue to B5.

[B4] - You accept your defeat. King Slime fires the whole center pillar at you, dealing 100 damage.
Continue to B5.

[B5] - King Slime is pretty angry at you right now. The slime jumps about thirty feet into the air while screaming.
If you jump too, go to B6.
If you attack him while he's vulnerable, go to B7.

[B6] - You jump up into the air to avoid the impact of the smashing attack. King Slime uses this opportunity to hit you in the face with his bubble. You fly into the wall, and take 5 damage. You hit the wall with so much impact, that you make an indention in the side. You fall to ground, and jump at him as he's about to land.
If you stab him, go to B8.
If you swing at him, go to B9.

[B7] - You realize that he's weak now, and charge at him. As soon as you're underneath him, you jump directly into the air and spin around attacking for 3 damage three times in a row. You stay inside of the giant slime, and land safely inside of his jelly.
If you stab him, go to B8.
If you tickle him, go to B10.

[B8] - You stab him and fly right through his body. It does 10 damage, and the slime spins around, breaking two more pillars with his antenna, apparently, these things are simply stuffed with items.
~You got 10 red potions, which recover 10 HP each~
~You got the WOODEN NUNCHUKS, which multiply your damage by 2~
King Slime looks angry now. I mean, he was mad before, but now he's just pissed. He goes on a rampage, smashing his antenna into the ground everywhere.
Continue to B13.

[B9] - You swing at the slime and hit him for 10 damage. The slime you hit splatters everywhere, coating you in a thin layer of it.
~You obtained SLIME ARMOR. This lowers damage done to you by 3~
King Slime is now looking a little bit weaker. He tries to hit you with his antenna, but you dodge and he hits a pillar instead, smashing it to pieces and taking 3 damage.
If you do a spin attack, go to B11.
If you do a slashing attack, go to B12.

[B10] - Now that you're inside the slime, you take this opportunity to tickle him. He starts laughing and tries to push you out, but is too busy laughing. He starts smashing everything in sight, completely ruining the room.
Continue to B18.

[B11] - You do a spinning attack, you miss and all this does is make you really dizzy. You try to stand up straight, but fall over dealing 2 damage to yourself. You stumble over to a pillar to lean on, but it turns out this pillar was really just a cardboard tube that wasn't even connected to anything. It falls over, revealing treasures.
~You gained 10 red potions, which recover 10 HP each~
~You obtained the weapon CARDBOARD TUBE, which lowers your damage by 2, but lets you hit twice~
Continue to B13.

[B12] - You do a slashing attack, dealing 10 damage to the King. He flys backwards into the wall, then picks up a pillar, and throws it at you. You take 10 damage. The pillar smashes open, and items fly out of it.
~You got the weapon WOODEN NUNCHUKS, which multiply your damage by 2~
Continue to B13.

[B13] - King Slime is going on a rampage, destroying everything in his way. You're in his way.
If you geddan, go to B14.
If you throw your weapon from afar, got to B15.

[B14] - Inspired by the Japanese internet fad, you start flailing around wildly to dodge his attacks while playing a 1997 J-pop hit. King Slime tries to follow your movements, but this puts a strain on his eyes, dealing 1 damage to himself. Instead he decides to follow your 'dance', but only suceeds in falling over backwards. He breaks the fourth pillar.
Continue to B18.

[B15] - You throw your weapon at King Slime. Rather than it hitting him, he just smashes it out of the way with his bubble. You rage. You had too many memories with that weapon. And if you've learned ANYTHING from watching all that mecha anime, it's that the more memories you have with the deceased, the stronger you get.
~You lost your weapon~
If you use Falcon Punch, go to B16.
If you use Giga Drill Breaker, go to B17.

[B16] - You charge at the beast, and deliver a mighty punch to the face. King Slime instantly becomes exploded, and takes over 9000 damage.
Continue to B18.

[B17] - Your Spiral Power becomes maxed, and you whip out your Giga Drill Breaker. You charge forwards and smash directly into the slime. Little bits and pieces of him fly everywhere, and he loses 20 HP. You decide that the resulting explosion wasn't big enough, so you punch the final pillar to break it.
Continue to B18.

[B18] - King Slime hops around dizzily. He is low on HP. In order to recover, he becomes HULK SLIME and grows to 30 times his normal height, in addition to increasing his MAX HP to 1000. He then recovers all his HP somehow. Oh man... this doesn't look very good. He lets out a mighty scream, and flexes two giant arms. He raises them into the air, in order to deliver the final blow on you. But his elbow bumps into the wall. And since there are no pillars supporting the ceiling anymore, the ceiling comes crashing down onto him. He is crushed underneath the weight and takes 912847 damage. WOW THAT'S A HEAVY CEILING. You pick up the spoils from the battle.
~You've gained SLIME ARMOR, which lowers the damage you take by 3~
~You've gained the SLIME STAFF, which increases the damage you do by 5, and increases the skill damage by 5~
~You've gained 5 vials of DELICIOUS SLIME, which recovers 50 HP~
~You've gained the skill SQUISHY TRAP, which lowers the damage you take by 5~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SECTION C - Mushmom's Dungeon

Spoiler!

King Slime is sitting on the ground in a pile of rubble. You're glad that battle is finally over. You look around, trying to find the next room, but to no avail. You can't see an escape route anywhere. After about 5 minutes of searching, you hear some rumbling coming from everywhere. Suddenly, lightning strikes the ground in the center of the room, and in a large flash of fire, the BLACK MAGE appears in front of you.
This is exactly what you've been waiting for. You draw your weapon and charge towards him, he grabs you by the head, and flings you to the ground, but you get right back on your feet. He's clearly too strong for you to fight now. He then speaks...
"lulz ur ***."
...and he dissapears in a flash.
You've never wanted to kill him more than you do now... The place where the lightning had struck revealed a hole in the ground. You look into it, and the room below appears to be rather well furnished. It must be the next boss. You wait for all of your HP to recover, then you jump in.
~You recovered 100 HP~

[C] - (This boss has 200 HP)
You land at the bottom of the hole and instantly inspect the surrounding area. The room you're in is rather nice looking, in fact, it looks like somebody could live here. The room has several shelves, each of them containing heaps of USELESS JUNK. There is a comfy looking sofa, a lit fireplace, and it leads into a kitchen where a delicious pie is waiting for you. The house is rather inviting, but you figure you should grab as much as you can off the shelves before the boss appears.
If you raid the wine shelf, go to C1.
If you raid the trinket shelf, go to C2.
If you grab that delicious pie, go to C3.

[C1] - You pull everything that doesn't look like it would bore you to death and put it in your inventory.
~You got 5 bottles of WINE, which recovers 50 HP, but lowers your damage by 5 for that round~
~You got the weapon BROKEN GLASS, which adds the amount of damage you took that turn to your damage~
~You got the skill INEBRIATION, which prevents you from taking, or giving damage that round~
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot an incredibly AWESOME SWORD. This sword just looks like it could take out any enemy in a single blow, and you'd love to be able to do that, you reach for the sword.
Continue to C4.

[C2] - You decide to look through te trinket shelf, because you aren't hungry at the time. You can't decide what you want to grab off the shelf, so you simply take everything. Including the shelf itself.
~You got the weapon METAL POLE, which increases your damage by 20~
~You got the weapon LIVE BIRD, which doubles your damage, then adds 3~
~You got 5 jars of a MYSTERIOUS SUBSTANCE, which recover 20 of your HP, or deal 20 of the boss's HP~
~You got the skill CURIOUSITY, which prevents you from taking or giving damage~
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot an incredibly AWESOME SWORD. This sword just looks like it could take out any enemy in a single blow, and you'd love to be able to do that, you reach for the sword.
Continue to C4.

[C3] - You decide that you're pretty hungry right now, so you reach for that delicious pie. As soon as you grab it, Admiral Ackbar appears out of nowhere, and gives you some incredibly helpful advice.
"IT'S A TRAP!"
You grab as much of the pie as you can, then a trap door appears and you fall to the ground below.
~You got 8 pieces of PIE, which recover 100 HP each~
Continue to C5.

[C4] - You reach for the AWESOME SWORD and grab hold of the hilt. You pull on it to remove it from it's majestic stand...
Suddenly, Admiral Ackbar appears and warns you of what is to come.
"IT'S A TRAP!"
You pull on it, and, sure enough, a trap door is revealed. You fall to the ground below.
Continue to C5.

[C5] - You land on the cold floor below. You inspect the surrounding area and relise you're not in a comfortable house at all, but instead, a dungeon. The floor is littered with the bodies of dead mushrooms, and the walls have blood on them. You wonder what horrible, deadly, beast-like monster could live here... Then, you hear a growling from the corner of the room...
The boss, reveals himself to you as the ZOMBIE MUSHMOM...
The mushmom lets out a giant roar, and jumps toward you.
If you roll to the side, go to C6.
If you roll forward, go to C7.

[C6] - You roll sideways to avoid the mushmom's fury, the monster jumps right past you, and you get up, ready to attack from behind.
If you summon a helper, go to C8.
If you attack, go to C9.

[C7] - You roll forward, into the monster, you roll right under it, and Mushmom looks ready to fall.
If you hold your weapon up, go to C10.
If you call for help, go to C11.

[C8] - You summon help to aid your attacks, and a guardian angel runs out from nowhere, punching the mushmom for 5 damage. The mushmom punches the angel out of the way, and charges after you.
If you attack, go to C12.
If you dodge, go to C7.

[C9] - You charge towards the mushmom, hitting it for 10 damage. The mushmom flys backwards in recoil, into the wall, it then jumps off, and hits you head on for 20 damage.
If you summon help, go to C13.
If you attack, go to C12.

[C10] - You hold up your weapon, hoping mushmom will land on it for a direct skewering blow. You and the mushmom take 20 damage. The mushmom jumps back up, and lands behind you, then starts up a spinning blow.
If you summon help, go to C11.
If you dodge, go to C6.

[C11] - You call for help, and then the dead mushrooms all come to life, attacking both you for 10 damage, they also push the mushmom into the back wall for 20 damage. After you and the mushmom defeat all the zombies, you get back to fighting. You lunge at each other.
If you dodge, go to C14.
If you attack, go to C12.

[C12] - You and the mushmom hit each other at the same time. Both of you go flying backwards, the mushmom tucks and rolls, easily taking the landing, you don't, and lose 5 HP.
If you attack, go to C9.
If you summon help, go to C8.

[C13] - You summon help. 5 copies of yourself appear, and they attack for 3 damage, 3 damage, 3 damage, 3 damage, and 3 damage. The mushmom jumps towards you.
If you hold up your weapon, go to C10.
If you dodge, go to C14.

[C14] - You fake out the mushmom, and it flys into the wall, dealing 5 damage to itself, you then charge at it with your weapon and smash it in the back of your head for another 5 damage. The mushmom jumps off the wall, back at you.
If you attack again, go to C9.
If you take summon help, go to C11.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Section D - Annoying Obstacle Course/Lazy Writing

Spoiler!

The dying zombie lets out a final scream and starts to hop around aimlessly. You dodge every single smash, then leap high into the air and land on the mushmom, impaling it with your weapon. The mushmom falls over dead, and you pull your weapon out.
As you jump off, you look inside of the mushmom to see if it has anything good inside. (These things usually do.)
~You got 3 servings of MUSHMOM MEAT, which recovers 15 HP and increases the damage you do that round by 5~
~You got the skill MUSHMOM SPORE, which prevents the opponent from doing any damage, however this skill can only be used 5 times~
You also happen to see a large metal object inside the slain beast, but you can't pull it out. Upon further inspection, you realise the object is a bomb.
*BOOM*
You fortunatly don't get hit too badly by the explosion, but it chars your weapon.
~Your weapon is now the BURNT OBJECT, which lowers your damage by 5, it also prevents the use of skills and items~
The explosion leaves a huge hole in the wall, big enough for you to walk through. You think about it for a little while, then decide it would be best to enter. Upon entering, you see that the new room is just a huge obstacle course. You hear a second explosion behind you, and the hole closes up. As well as your light source. Uh-oh.

[D] - (This boss has 1 HP.)
You stumble forward, and try to feel your way around. You put your hands on what appears to be a large wooden pole.
If you climb the pole, go to D1.
If you eat the pole, go to D2.
If you attack the pole, go to D3.

[D1] - You climb the wooden pole. Eventually, you get to the top, but it's too dark to be sure. Suddenly, you lose your balance and fall off the pole, taking 3 damage.
Continue to D4.

[D2] - Since you're such a genius, you eat the large wooden object. You take a big bite out of the side, and the whole thing falls over. You walk to the other side of the pole, unharmed.
Continue to D4.

[D3] - You figure that this pole must be a boss, so you smash the pole like there's no tomorrow. The pole shatters into several pieces. You trip over a piece, and are impaled by a large spike. You lose 20 HP.
Continue to D4.

[D4] - You feel around the room some more, but find nothing. You learn that the room is round shaped with a pit at the center.
If you jump into the pit, go to D5.
If you cannonball into the pit, go to D6.
If you cautiously walk into the pit, go to D7.

[D5] - You jump headfirst into the pit, because you are a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything. You hit your head on something hard and metal, then hit your head on something fiery and explosiony. You lose 5 HP. You are blasted into the air.
Continue to D8.

[D6] - You cannonball into the pit in a comedical fashion. You hit something hard, but you're already braced for impact, so it doesn't do much. Then, you're fired straight into the air.
Continue to D8.

[D7] - You feel around inside the pit and burn your hand pretty badly. Then, your face gets exploded and you fly into the air. As you're flying, you realise you left about 20 HP on the ground. Oh well.
Continue to D8.

[D8] - You're flying through the air. You've been going up at a high speed for quite a while now, so going down won't be very fun. You start going down. Uh-oh.
If you try to learn to fly, go to D9.
If you grab randonly, go to D10.
If you try to learn to fall, go to D11.

[D9] - You learned to fly. Nice. You safely land on a platform nearby.
Continue to D12.

[D10] - You feel around for something to grab onto, and find a few ropes. You grab the ropes and they stop your fall, but OW ROPEBURN. You lose 3 HP, then climb up to safety.
Continue to D12.

[D11] - You fall as fast as you possibly can and hit the ground with such force, that you propel back into the air, and land safely. Well, not really safely, considering you fell like, 20 feet. Er... 20, hp losing... heights... You lose 20 HP.
Continue to D12.

[D12] - You're standing on a pretty high-up platform. You feel around for something, and find a door. However, the door is locked, and the only key to the door you know of is magnetically attracted to the door. There's also a maze connecting the key to the keyhole. The maze is electrically charged.
If you attack the maze, go to D13.
If you guess your way through the maze, go to D14.
If you cast a spell of light, then complete the maze, go to D15.

[D13] - You attack the maze. You land several critical blows on it, and you also dodge every single one of the inanimate object's attacks. The door falls over, and you walk through the new opening. You accidently stub your toe on the maze, and lose 2 HP.
Continue to D16.

[D14] - You guess your way though the maze, and successfully, too! Wow. You're lucky. The door opens, and you walk through.
Continue to D16.

[D15] - You cast a spell of light so you can see exactly what the heck you're doing. You burn down the whole freaking room. Darn it. Then, you lose 15 HP form using too many quasi-swears.
Continue to D16.

[D16] - Finally! Some light! You really appreciate this lighted room for a little bit. The lights from the ceiling hang down majestically as you walk into the ro- HAMMER OUT OF NOWHERE! A hammer swings down in front of you and you barely dodge it. Apparnently, some of the tiles in this room are booby-trapped...
If you steps on a few tiles as possible, go to D17.
If you step on as many of the tiles as possible, go to D18.
If you giggle at the word booby-trap, go to D19.

[D17] - You jump across the room, and manage only to hit 3 tiles. The tiles were the ARROW TRAP tile, the EXPOLSION tile, and the RICKROLL tile. You lose 20 HP, and get pretty angry at that Rick Astley guy.
Continue to D20.

[D18] - You step on as many tiles as you possibly can, which sets off every trap at once, overloading the system and shutting it down.
Continue to D20.

[D19] - You giggle at the word booby-trap. The MATURITY FAIRY appears and kicks you across the room. You lose 5 HP.
Continue to D20.

[D20] - You're more-or-less safely at the other side of the room at this point. The end of the room has 3 doors.
If you go into the left door, go to D21.
If you go into the center door, go to D22.
If you go into the right door, go to D23.

[D21] - You go into the left door, and see a man sitting at an empty table. He treats you to some tea and lets you on your way unharmed. Then, as the door slams shut behind you, you realise you left your appendex back there. Shoot. You lose 5 HP.
Continue to D24.

[D22] - You go into the center door. A man with a giant sword challenges you to a battle to the death in order to reach the other side. You try the right door instead. It's much nicer.
Continue to D24.

[D23] - You decide to make the RIGHT decision and go into the RIGHT door. You come out on the other side unharmed, but decide to punch yourself in the gut for 10 damage because you suck at making puns.
Continue to D24.

[D24] - You appear outside the building. You stand in the bright daylight. It rather refeshing to be out on solid ground again. You look back on the building behind you. Uh-oh... that's no building. It turns out that the whole time, you were inside a GIANT FLYING SCORPION. You pick up a nearby stick, and prepare to lay the smack onto it.
~You got the weapon WOODEN CLUB, which increases your damage by 3~
If you run up to its head, go to D25.
If you attack from the ground, go to D26.
If you jump up to it's face and attack, go to D27.

[D25] - You run up the monster's back and hit it on the head. The attack doesn't do any damage, and he pushes you back to the ground for 20 damage.
If you blind him with dirt, then strike again, go to D28.
If you try chopping off some limbs, go to D29.

[D26] - You attack it from the ground by swinging around aimlessly. It doesn't succeed in doing anything, considering it's flying.
Go back to D24.

[D27] - You jump upto it's face and hit it in the stinger for massive damage. Well, 1 damage actually.

[D28] - You blind him with dirt and he falls to the ground, taking 1 damage.

[D29] - You get down to limb chopping and cut off most of him. He flys around unphased, then grows them back. He stings you for 15 damage.
If you blind him with dirt, then strike again, go to D28.
If you jump up to it's face and attack, go to D27.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SECTION E - The Final Battle

Spoiler!

The scorpion lets out a scream, and explodes.
~You got the weapon SCORPION LEG, which deals 1 extra damage for every HP you're missing~
~You got the item VENOM, which does 20 damage to your opponent, but prevents your attack that turn~
~You got scorpion-plate armor, which lowers damage you take by 10%~
Now that the Scorpion is dead, you can finally focus on other issues. You take a look around and nothing seems amiss. Until you realize that you aren't even in the Boss Rush anymore. Darn it.
You walk over to the hole the last boss had lived in in order to inspect the area for anything more, because that couldn't have really been the last boss, could it? Upon further inspection, there's a small hole at the bottom of the pit! You dig around, and find out that it actually leads to a large tunnel!
You enter the tunnel, and end up in a small room.
A mysterious figure awaits you in the room. He turns around, and speaks to you.
"I presume you're here for me..."
The man's identity? The Black Mage.

[E] - (This boss has 1000 HP)
He jumps at you, and hits you with his AWESOME SWORD for 20 damage. You stumble backwards, but don't fall, and swing your weapon at his head. He dodges it and smacks you with the hilt of his sword for 10 damage. You fall over, stunned.
If you get up and run, go to E1.
If you block his attack, go to E2.

[E1] - You get up and run from his next blow, he hits the ground with his sword, and you use this time to run to the side and heal yourself. You recover 10 HP.
If you jump at him and attack, go to E3.
If you await his attack for a parry, go to E4.

[E2] - You block his sword and push it back you get up and swing at his head, but he ducks and pushes you over, then steps on your neck. You lose 30 HP. He stops, and you get up and run to the corner.
If you jump at him and attack, go to E3.
If you run away, go to E5.

[E3] - You jump forward at him, with your weapon held high. He stabs you in the stomach for 15 damage, but you continue swinging your weapon and hit him in the head for 5. You both withdraw your weapons.
If you await his attack for a parry, go to E4.
If you do a spin attack, go to E6.

[E4] - You wait for his next attack to come, so you can parry it. Man, wouldn't that be awesome? It would be, but he's just sitting there. You recover 5 HP waiting. The Black Mage also recovers 5.
If you keep waiting, go to E4.
If you run at him, go to E7.

[E5] - You run away, but he throws his sword at you. It jams into your back, and he pulls you back in for an ass-kicking. You lose 50 HP.
If you run at him, go to E7.
If you do a spin attack, go to E6.

[E6] - You hold out your weapon, and do a spin attack. You hit him 5 times for 5 damage. He takes your weapon, and pushes you over like an elementary school bully. You lose 5 HP. Fortunately, he drops his weapon in picking yours up.
~You got the weapon AWESOME SWORD, which increases your damage by 50~
He realises his mistake, and pushes you over, taking it back.
~Nevermind~
If you run off, go to E8.
If you kick his head, go to E9.

[E7] - You use your dash attack and all your dealing-15-damage dreams come true!
If you kick his head, go to E9.
If you smash the ground, go to E10.

[E8] - You realise that he's way too strong for you, so you run away.
Continue to section F.

[E9] - You jump into the air and try to kick him in the head. He reacts quickly and bites you in the foot, then shakes you like a dog. Like a dog would shake, not be shaken. You lose 10 HP.
If you punch him in the stomache, go to E11.
If you run off, go to E8.

[E10] - You smash your weapon on the ground, causing a small earthquake. He jumps over it. You don't. You lose 10 HP.
Continue to E8.

[E11] - You punch him in the stomach for 5 damage. He bends over forward and traps your hand in it. He punches you in the head over and over. You lose 10 HP.
Continue to E8.

The mage is still nowhere near dead, he is clearly too strong for you. You have no choice but to flee. You leave the hole you were in, and blow up the trail behind you. You run off hoping he won't follow, then stop to treat your wounds in a ditch in the woods.
You gain 100 HP.
You decide that you can't face him now, but maybe after you gain some more skills and get stronger items. You wander through the woods in search of these items.
You discover a cave in the woods and enter, hoping that you'll be safe here. There's a man inside the cave. Oh man... not this again.
He turns to you and speaks,
"Fighting the Black Mage?" he says.
"How did you know?" you tell him.
"I may be able to help you, if you can answer a few questions first."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Section F - Almost as Bad as High School! Almost!

Spoiler!

You decide to answer the questions, as you could use all the help you can get.
QUESTION RULES : Write down your answers to the questions on a sheet of scratch paper, then at the end of this section, you will have answers provided for you. After answering a question, go onto the next one.
[F1] - Thunder Breakers are...
A. Cygnus Knights
B. Adventurers
C. Legends
D. All of the above

[F2] - Which of the towns below is for mages?
A. Henesys
B. Ellinia
C. Perion
D. This answer is the wrong answer don't select this answer or you suck.

[F3] - Which of the following classes does not use a skill alike IMPROVING MAX HP?
A. Thunder Breakers
B. Dawn Warriors
C. Spearmen
D. lul beginners

[F4] - How much damage does level 2 Three Snails do?
A. 15
B. 25
C. 40
D. Over 9000

[F5] - Which of the following stats raises the most ACCURACY.
A. STR
B. INT
C. DEX
D. MP

That was only the first 5 questions! The next few will be harder!

[F6] - Which of the following monsters would NOT be found on Victoria Island?
A. Drum Bunnies
B. Green Snails
C. Red Snails
D. Feirrys

[F7] - Which of the following buttons is sit originally on when you start?
A. A
B. B
C. C
D. D

[F8] - How many HP does a King Slime really have?
A. 800
B. 80
C. 8000
D. 8

[F9] - Which of the following skills is passive?
A. Combo Smash
B. Energy Bolt
C. Energy Charge
D. Bless

[F10] - Which of the following NPCs is least associated with a Party Quest?
A. Yellow Balloon
B. Cloto
C. Nett
D. Arturo

If you thought that was hard, then you'll LOVE this!

[F11] - Which of the following monsters DOES NOT drop yellow magic powder?
A. Drum Bunnies
B. Skelegon
C. Tick-Tock
D. Slimy

[F12] - Which of the following NPC names is NOT used twice?
A. Alex
B. ????
C. Andy
D. Dolphin

[F13] - Which of the following attacks is the strongest?
A. Fire Arrow (Blaze Wizard)
B. Fire Arrow (F/P Wizard)
C. Cold beam
D. Shining Ray

[F14] - Which of the following chairs heals the least HP?
A. Kadomatsu
B. Pink Beach Parasol
C. Under the Maple Tree
D. World End

[F15] - Which of the following numbers is closest to 11111?
A. The amount of EXP needed to get from level 19 to 20
B. The amount of EXP needed to get from level 18 to 19
C. The amount of EXP needed to get from level 1 to 14
D. The amount of EXP needed to get from level 10 to level 15

And now onto the last 5 questions, or OMGWTFBBQ HARD.

[F16] - Which of the following IGNs would be allowed?
A. AssFace
B. Bucc800
C. Hangman
D. HiIlikePi

[F17] - Which of the following skills CAN be used in Jump Quest maps?
A. Final Strike
B. Haste
C. Flash Jump
D. Barrage

[F18] - Which of the following PQs requires killing?
A. HPQ
B. KPQ
C. MCPQ
D. LMPQ

[F19] - When did Aqua Road come out in GMS?
A. v22
B. v30
C. v10
D. v18

[F20] - What is the 7,357th word in this Choose your own adventure?
A. If
B. go
C. You
D. GIRUGAMESH

You finish the quiz. The man hands you the answer sheet.

Spoiler!

A. Cygnus Knights
B. Ellinia
D. lul Beginners
B. 25
C. DEX
A. Drum Bunnies
B. B
C. 8000
C. Energy Charge
D. Arturo
D. Slimy
B. ????
B. Fire Arrow (F/P Wizard)
C. Under the Maple Tree
C. The amount of EXP needed to get from level 1 to 14.
A. Assface
B. Haste
B. KPQ
D. v18
D. GIRUGAMESH

Now calculate how many you got right and see what prizes you get!

~~~

If you got 1 right, you get :
5 Red potions, which recover 10 HP.

~~~

If you got 2 right, you get :
10 red potions, which recover 10 HP.

~~~

If you got 3 right, you get :
5 orange potions, which recover 30 HP.

~~~

If you got 4 right, you get :
10 orange potions, which recover 30 HP.

~~~

If you got 5 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.

~~~

If you got 6 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME AXE, which does an extra 10 damage.

~~~

If you got 7 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME HAMMER, which does an extra 20 damage.

~~~

If you got 8 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SPEAR, which does an extra 30 damage.

~~~

If you got 9 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME POLEARM, which does an extra 40 damage.

~~~

If you got 10 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.

~~~

If you got 11 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 1, which does 10 damage.

~~~

If you got 12 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 2, which does 20 damage.

~~~

If you got 13 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 3, which does 30 damage.

~~~

If you got 14 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 4, which does 40 damage.

~~~

If you got 15 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 5, which does 50 damage.

~~~

If you got 16 right, you get :
10 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 50 damage.
The skill SMASH level 5, which does 50 damage.
5 FLASH GRENADES, which block the damage you receive that turn.

~~~

If you got 17 right, you get :
20 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon VERY AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 60 damage.
The skill SMASH level 6, which does 60 damage.
10 FLASH GRENADES, which block the damage you receive that turn.

~~~

If you got 18 right, you get :
30 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon REALLY AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 70 damage.
The skill SMASH level 7, which does 70 damage.
15 FLASH GRENADES, which block the damage you receive that turn.

~~~

If you got 19 right, you get :
40 white potions, which recover 50 HP.
The weapon SUPER AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 80 damage.
The skill SMASH level 8, which does 80 damage.
20 FLASH GRENADES, which block the damage you receive that turn.

~~~

IF you got 20 right, you get :
50 Elixers, which recover 100 HP.
The weapon EPICALLY AWESOME SWORD, which does an extra 100 damage.
The skill SMASH level 9, which does 100 damage.
30 FLASH GRENADES, which block the damage you receive that turn.

~~~

Your HP is also restored.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SECTION G - cc plz noob

Spoiler!

(This boss has 1000 HP, however, you will not be able to damage him, rather, you must survive through the boss battle for 20 adventures without losing all 100 of your RP (rage points))
The man hands you everything you need, and sends you on your way.
You arrive at the cave and look inside. You can see him still sitting in there in the rubble. Approching the entrance, you see another person. You walk up to him.
"Hello?"
"wat"
"Are you also here to defeat the Black Mage?"
"ya"
"Perhaps we shall fight him together, then the battle will be easier!"
"wtf no"
"Why not?"
"u get less exp"
"Well, I still don't see why we can't but I'll go in alone now."
You walk for the entrance, but as soon as you get near, the other person grabs you by the shoulder and swings at your face. You dodge, but he keeps trying to attack you. You ask him why he's fighting you, and he responds with something inaudible along the lines of "i was her efirst no0ob"
If you punch him in the face, go to G1.
If you correct him on his spelling and capitalization, go to G2.

[G1] - You choose the most obvious answer and punch that noob in the face. It doesn't appear to do any damage, but he does stare at you with his giant, angry eyes. It's sort of frightening... You back away.
If you threaten to defame him, go to G3.
If you defame him, go to G4.

[G2] - You give him several grammar lessons, but he doesn't appear to have listened to any of them. You throw down your hat in disgust, and it hits your foot for 10 damage.
If you defame him, go to G4.
If you swear at him, go to G5.

[G3] - You threaten to defame him. The threats appear to work, but then he gets mad an actually defames you. Apparently, being defamed really hurts. You lose 20 RP.
If you use a summoning sack, go to G6.
If you flame him, go to G7.

[G4] - You decide to defame him because you feel that's the smartest choice. You lower his fame by one, and he pretty much explodes. He tries to call his guild for a good 5 minutes, before realising he's not in one.
(This adventure counts as two.)
If you call him a noob, go to G8.
If you use a summoning sach, go to G6.

[G5] - You swear at him. I really can't repeat this part, but somewhere along the line, you lost 20 RP.
If you punch him in the face, go to G1.
If you flame him, go to G7.

[G6] - You summon some monsters, figuring that you can kill him. The monsters are summoned, and they all walk off. The whole situation makes you pretty angry, and you lose 20 RP.
If you swear at him, go to G5.
If you call him a noob, go to G8.

[G7] - You flame him by calling him all sorts of names. He gets pretty mad, and he flips out, you lose 5 RP, but he does continue flipping out for a while.
(This adventure counts as two.)
If you call him a noob, go to G8.
If you swear at him, go to G5.

[G8] - You call him a noob. Because he is a noob. You lose 5 RP, but he seems to be unphased. He decides that he'll try to KS you.
If you run into the Black Mage's lair, go to G9.
If you have a KS war, go to G10.

[G9] - You run into the lair, but he runs in after you. The way is blocked since you're not in a party, and you refuse to start one with that NOOB. You make one of your own, but the noob runs in before you. You lose 40 RP.
If you wait for the noob to come out, go to G11.
If you run in after the noob, go to G12.

[G10] - You have a KS war with the noob. Since there are no monsters anywhere nearby, you two look kind of silly. Upon realizing this, you lose 10 RP.
(This adventure counts 3.)
If you swear at him, go to G5.
If you flame him, go to G7.

[G11] - You wait for the noob to leave. After about 30 seconds, he flys out of the lair, dead. You walk on in, but he respawns and the flame war continues.
If you flame him, go to G7.
If you call him a noob, go to G8.

[G12] - You run in after the noob, just in time to see him getting owned by the Black Mage. It calms you down some, and you recover 10 RP. The Black Mage hits him in the face, and he flies out of the cave, but you push him back in. This repeats for a while until the noob dies. You leave the cave so you can flame him more when he respawns.
If you flame him, go to G7.
If you summon some monsters, go to G6.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SECTION H - The real final battle.

Spoiler!

(This boss has 5000 HP.)
You and the noob go on in your arguements for a while, you try and think up something that will distract him for long enough to make an escape. You need to leave something valueble behind, so you drop a few potions. He runs over to pick them up, then gets ready to flame you again. You drop a few more, and he goes back to pick them up. You take this opportunity and throw all your items into a trail leading to a cliff. The noob picks up all the items and walks up next to the cliff. You throw your weapon over the edge, and the noob runs over to get it, then falling to his death.
You run into the cave while the noob is falling.
The doors lock behind you. There's no turning back anymore.
You run toward the Black Mage, ready to fight, and use one of you SMASH skill. The Black Mage takes a direct hit, and falls over backwards in pain. You prepare to hit him with another blow while he's down, but he starts glowing, and it distracts you.
He yells out a spell name you don't understand. It sounds something like, "Rollback!"
Suddenly, the whole world starts to fade. You forget every skill that you have, and feel like you're being transported elsewhere.

END OF PART 1.