Sorta worried about work slowing down (I have few offline connections so if I can't work for the people I know, then I get
really depressed and and start making Empty House threads,
which I am totally not doing now) and some guests came yesterday and I had to mow the lawn after being really dehydrated (I work out in the sun and don't always drink enough). I guess what I'm really complaining about is yea, my life's content, but every now and then it just sorta dries up and goes stagnant. Between moving about every 4-10 years all my life, (dad's a priest, mom's a teacher, I got lucky that I stayed as long as I did, but it doesn't feel lucky) I have difficulty making permanent connections either in the job world or in the offline friends period (and so when jobs go away, it tends to make me gloomy). So pretty much my family, and whatever church I attend has become my family.
I had seizures, when I was 8, got poked and prodded alot by sleeping probes. So I not only don't trust doctors much (they cured the seizures only after taking about four years worth of pills, but I still had to take Ritalin/Addirol for another few years before I realized the **** I was taking wasn't curing anything, wasn't treating anything as I was probably misdiagnosed (one of the symptoms of moving frequently is "adjustment distraction"), and was generally giving me stomach pains and hurting my social life), but I also don't trust specialists of any kind (when something goes bad in my life I talk to people if not here online, to my family and friends), and I realized as I woke up today that this is why I sleep on a futon (any sleep shakes won't disrupt the springs and toss me onto the floor, despite being seizure free for years).