Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Abigail

  1. #1
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default Abigail

    The following is the beginning to a story I attempted to write nearly two years ago. I came across it tonight and was surprised by what I wrote. I really want to take it further, but I cannot for the life of me remember what the story was supposed to be about.
    Sooo
    I figured I'd post various tentative chapters and outlines on here. Even though it'll mostly be rough work, having it public will keep me on check. It's very unlikely that this story will stay completely SFW, but I can't imagine it'd go much past R-content

    Spoiler!


    Spoiler!
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 18th April 2013 at 02:18 PM.


    Spoiler!



  2. #2
    Luck kaglover1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,559

    Default

    Have you ever considered posting that on a fiction site, because you get public criticism all the same. If you're interested AND only if you're interested: fictionpress
    Last edited by kaglover1; 9th April 2013 at 12:03 AM.

  3. #3
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default

    I spent the majority of my lecture time creating rough character sketches and plot outlines.
    My current favorite plan is to cut the crash down to a regular car accident, and have the driver at fault be a community leader's son. I'm still not sure what position of leadership I want; I'm looking at possibly a popular state senator, university chair, or football coach. The son (I think I want him named Rory) had been drinking, and the accident had been covered up due to the popularity of the family. I want this part of the backstory to be somewhat cliche (although not over the top).

    The narrator's romantic interest, the girl described in the first paragraph, will be named Abigail (which is supposed to be an allusion to the Biblical story of Abigail and David). The son in question will be her cousin, with the community leader being her uncle on her Father's side.

    The narrator, knowing Abigail has a taste for social justice, attempts to bring the cover-up to public attention, and after garnering a bit of a following online, tells Abigail he's the one who starts the movement against the family. She is initially excited, and also takes a romantic interest in the narrator, helping him reveal the "truth" about the crash.

    I say "truth" because the narrator knows he may have caused the accident, but convinces himself the drunk son was ultimately at fault, and even more fervently pursues "justice". Abigail and the narrator lead a successful rally against corruption in the community, having now brought the cause beyond the issue of the accident. That night they celebrate together at a party, both get drunk (with Abigail noticeably more intoxicated than the narrator), and end up having sex.

    Abigail regrets the decision, believing it went against their cause, but stays with the narrator, whom she believes to be a truly good person. The narrator has rallied the community and raised awareness of several other important issues in the community, but has ultimately done it to remain close to Abigail.

    The two date for several months, and during the summer Abigail attends her uncle's (the community leader) birthday. Seeing him and his family depressed, out of power, and out of money (from legal battles the son faced), she feels pity, and talks to the narrator. However, his stubbornness overwhelms his dwindling infatuation with Abigail, and most of the reader's sympathy for him has become lost by this time.

    During a heated argument in which the narrator is a bit drunk, he tells Abigail that he fabricated many of the claims to stay close to her, and that he was the only family she needed. Abigail attempts to end the relationship, but the narrator, who is now a popular figure in the community, publicly denounces her for having been unfaithful. The community, relatively apathetic to such a personal "outcry" ignores the narrator, and with no actual issues to challenge, the narrator loses support.

    The legal battles against the family are winding down, and the final hearing is held at the end of summer. Abigail attends, but this time on the family's side. Later she publicly claims that the narrator fabricated much of the story, and many of the social issues were exaggerated. She expresses disappointment in both her cousin (whom she has now forgiven) and the narrator, but says she'll continue to love everyone close to her.

    The narrator, taking this as an act of betrayal, becomes very drunk the following night, and stumbles out to find Abigail and convince her to come back to him. He crosses the same street corner and is hit by a car. Having lost so much public support, the only people at his funeral bedside are his immediate family and Abigail, who forgives him but is rejected by the denial-filled narrator. It's not until she says her final goodbye and leaves the hospital that the narrator feels one last twinge of empathy and calls out, but gets no response.




    I'm not entirely sure how I want to expand on the narrator's loss of public support; that needs to be a huge part of the story. I want the narrator to go from a bit of a broken, yet sympathetic character to the villain, and I want Abigail to end as the heroine. It's a very rough interpretation of Othello, with Iago being the power-hungry side of the narrator and Othello being his shy, loving side. However, I don't want Desdemona (Abigail) be be an entirely passive character. I want her to begin seeming like that (to the narrator), but her character will be revealed as the true hero of the story (closer to the Abigail and David story, but with the David character ultimately failing in the end).
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 10th April 2013 at 07:28 AM.


    Spoiler!



  4. #4
    Green Bean rasudoken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Avatar
    Posts
    5,742

    Default

    I'm really liking this and I'm falling in love with this Abigail.
    by Cryopon

  5. #5
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rasudoken View Post
    I'm really liking this and I'm falling in love with this Abigail.
    Thanks! That was the hope; I want the reader to at first feel sympathy for the narrator, but quickly grow to dislike him and instead root for Abigail.


    Also edited a brief bit at the end in order to allow the entire story to be told in 1st person past tense. I want the narrator's bias and personal conflict to be very apparent; he needs to almost be two different characters, with the evil one slowly overwhelming him as he gains popularity and power, at least up until the very end. I want there to still be a lingering question in the reader's mind as to whether or not the story was entirely honest, but I want to provide clues about the truth. That'll be hard to do in 1st person, but I think it'll make the story more effective in the end.

    I'm also not sure whether or not to give the narrator a name. Going without a name seems like a cheap pull to allow readers to relate, but it also makes his personality change more believable. I'm very tempted to name him Paul in the beginning and have characters refer to him in that way, but as the story progresses and his character falls, I want people to call him by his name less often (another Biblical allusion, but with the conversion of Paul reversed).
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 10th April 2013 at 07:41 AM.


    Spoiler!



  6. #6
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default

    As far into the 2nd chapter as I got during today's lectures. Tomorrow I want to continue the narrator having an awkward conversation with Nick before Abigail arrives. I'm not sure if I want to bring up her talking about the accident just yet; I think I'm going to have her just seem distant and frustrated. I also want to write Abigail's name into the first chapter, as well as play around with putting in a brief mention of Nick. Also, the class will be reading Chaucer's version of Troilus and Criseyde, alluding to the fact that Paul will eventually feel betrayed by Abigail when she eventually returns to the side of her family.

    Also, debating the title name. Abigail sounds good, but I don't want it to give away her ending up as the heroine

    Spoiler!


    If you haven't been able to tell yet, the narrator is pretty much an exaggerated version of me. I tried not to, but I ended up borrowing far too much from my own life. I want to cut that down a bit as the story progresses.
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 10th April 2013 at 12:31 PM.


    Spoiler!



  7. #7
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default

    Finished up the second chapter during my lectures this week. If nothing else, this is a wonderful distraction from boring classes.
    Spoiler!
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 18th April 2013 at 02:21 PM.


    Spoiler!



  8. #8
    Green Bean rasudoken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Avatar
    Posts
    5,742

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tesiqurasa View Post
    Finished up the second chapter during my lectures this week. If nothing else, this is a wonderful distraction from boring classes.
    Spoiler!
    Also

    >Putting on a shirt before putting on underwear
    by Cryopon

  9. #9
    Luck kaglover1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,559

    Default

    How dare you make your characters swear?! The greatest authors never use swear words in their books/stories.

  10. #10
    We're in a heap o'trouble Tesiqurasa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lincoln, NE
    Posts
    6,251

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kaglover1 View Post
    How dare you make your characters swear?! The greatest authors never use swear words in their books/stories.
    Hunter S. Thompson
    Jack Kerouac
    Geoffery Chaucer
    Shakespeare
    Agatha Christie
    Mark Twain
    Oscar Wilde
    James Joyce
    John Milton
    etc

    Nope, none of the great authors use foul language. Swearing has its place as a rhetorical device; you'd be a fool to disagree. Used correctly, it can do a great deal to shape dialogue or change language.
    Last edited by Tesiqurasa; 19th April 2013 at 03:37 AM.


    Spoiler!



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •