As with my first "I'm Leaving" thread, I feel better when I write down everything that I wish to say. And so, this one will follow suit in being a rather large wall of text.
I decided only recently that coming back to HS was something I would benefit from. Getting a break from the community, letting things cool down, and just all together coming back more level-headed would have helped.
Unfortunately this is not the case, as is showcased before me rather dominantly. My problem is that I don't get along well with what seems to be a pretty well per-established community before me.
My personality is what really keeps me from "settling in" around here, which is unfortunate. I've been going here for ~4 years now, and have really hated every minute of the hell that is the Hidden-Street forum.
Not for some of you, but it is for me. My biggest downfall is that I have a heavy "negative rep" behind me, that just.. doesn't go away. First impressions are the ones that last, and unfortunately.. mine weren't very good.
However it isn't "just" my first impressions that have plagued me. No, it's.. just me. I don't get along well because unfortunately I always have the urge to compete.. to.. compare myself to others.
That seemed like a dominant trait on these forums, but unfortunately I was too young to really be treated as someone who is mature. Which, of course, I wasn't. And so.. I still dominantly strive to "show off" to this day unfortunately, because that's the person I've been shaped to be here. And that has never been accepted, nor do I think it ever will be. I often contemplate leaving, and I tried to go through with it once, but that failed. It failed because eventually I just came to the realization that perhaps it was just a break that I'd needed. Unfortunately though that was wrong of me to assume, and as such the evidence is torn and throw around in front of me as though it's some sort of game.
Speaking of game.. I've been told now by every person from HS on my Steam friends list that the bull**** I deal with is because it's become appropriate to send all disrespect and general **** towards me.
Dealing with it has been putting me in really stressed moods, and generally I am just angry whenever I think about the community that I used to love attending but has crumbled before me.
It isn't "falling apart" for everyone, just for me, which is rather unfortunate. One of the worst things though is the fact that I can usually get along fine with one or two of you at a time over Steam, but when you're all here things go to ****.
Rather than pull in individual names, I've just decided against doing all of that. It's.. rather pointless. I really enjoy talking to some of you through Steam, but HS was always a good outlet to just.. talk. Not message one of you specifically
and go from there as it usually plays out.
Again I must say, if you're even skimming this. I'm not writing all of this in hopes to change how anyone feels. I just feel a lot better being able to vent here, as that is the intended use of this forum section.
My utmost desire is that I don't come back, and that my life can improve from this point on. If you don't have me on Steam, and you care enough to add me, my name is wyattzx on Steam.
So with that, I hope to officially resign from Hidden-Street, and I vow to actually never come back. I think.. it's really just for the best of all of us.
A formal resignation.
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