Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: not even in the friendzone

  1. #1
    Slime Grace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    202

    Default not even in the friendzone

    more like the 'omg not this guy again zone.'


    so there's this guy who's liked me (I believe on and off? Possibly has liked me this entire time) since last year. Anyway I knew it, but he didn't know that I knew. And it became increasingly awkward for me to be around him. He already is socially awkward because he was homeschooled through high school. So a few days ago he texted me that he wanted to talk to me. And we never text. Or talk, really. We were in the same small group last year for one quarter and we're in a mutual club, but that's about it. I keep it to strictly business talk (financial, design conversations, etc). So Thursday night I went over and we talked. First thing he asks is how was my birthday party. I said it was good. Then he asked why he wasn't invited.
    Sooo awkward.
    He said mutual friends were invited this year "like so-and-so," and he was invited last year, so why wasn't he invited?? I said it was because we hadn't really talked the past year (completely true), and we were in a small group together last year.
    Then he asked about asking me out a few months ago. And I was like, "what? When did you ask me out??" and he was like "uh...nevermind." (I knew what he was talking about though). So I said, "do you mean when you asked about getting coffee when I was at the info desk...?" and he said yes. I told him that was very unclear, and I couldn't tell what his intentions were. He said he asked me to text him, and that I never did, so he asked me if that was intentional. I said yes, because I figured if it was that important to him, he'd text me about it. (I don't like coffee lol so I didn't text...plus I couldn't tell if it was a hang-out or date). So he asked me for my answer, and he said it was okay if it was a no. I said sorry, but no. And he was like okay. I also told him that he made me feel uncomfortable, and he apologized for that, and wondered if there was any way he could make me feel more comfortable. I said not really, and that it was due to me knowing that he liked me, but he didn't ever do anything about it. I said it just made me feel more and more uncomfortable. (Like I didn't want to be "nice" to him because he might've thought I was leading him on...so I was actively avoiding him and etc.) He said if we could be normal people and just hang out as friends, and asked if we were good. I hesitantly said yeah.

    I've talked to a couple friends since then, and one of them brought up two points. 1. That the confrontation about the bday party was totally middle school-esque, and 2. it sounded like I was bitter because he didn't do anything about liking me soon enough.

    About #1, the more I think about it, the angrier I'm getting, because you just like.... you just don't ask about hat kind of thing you know? We have mutual friends who have invited me to their birthday things last year, but not this year. And for one of them I understood that we drifted apart and didn't care too much about it, but the other mutual friend not inviting me kind of hurt. But I got over it because anyone can invite whoever the hell they want. And I want this guy to understand that. So I'm thinking about fb msging him. Thoughts?

    About #2, I don't really know if I want to talk to him about it, because I doubt either of us really want to talk about it again. But I don't want him to think I would've been interested if he had asked earlier. Because I'm completely 100% NOT interested. Thoughts?
    Last edited by Grace; 29th June 2014 at 10:06 AM.


    hehehe

    solelygrace+saiarain <3

  2. #2
    Green Bean rasudoken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Avatar
    Posts
    5,742

    Default

    #1: Uncalled for. Feels clingy/psycho-esque. I think it might be a good idea to tell him what you think on the birthday issue. I don't think he'll find your answer very satisfying (based on this guy being socially awkward/somewhat creepy) but it's better than nothing and if anything will creep into his subconsciousness the idea that everyone has a different view on things.

    #2: I did the same thing too with a girl who told me she liked me, that is somewhat avoiding the person. It felt bad. Second person who was interested in me I tried to be more natural about it. It was a bit awkward for me, but I at least don't feel bad about it as much as if I avoided that person.

    Unless you physically feel threatened by this guy, I think it might be a good idea to be "normal people and friends" with him. It's going to feel awkward, but it'll help his social skills and help you in the event that a similar situation occurs again in the future.

    My own feelings regarding #1, phrases like these feel like it shows the person to either be tactless or self-centered. Both traits undesirable. But then again he's socially awkward so I'm not sure if these are his personal traits or just traits due to lack of skill.
    by Cryopon

  3. #3
    IAちゃんまじかわイア blankaex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    21 47' 48" S
    Posts
    1,065

    Default

    sorry grace, but I'm on that guy's side. being actively avoided by the girl you're interested in feels like absolute ****, though to be fair, he didn't really go about it in a mature way. It's good that you just gave him a flat out no, and it's nice of you to let him stay friends, albeit hesitantly. I do think you're unjustly angry at him, though. He probably just didn't know what to do, and was sour that you didn't invite him to your birthday party. I'm not saying you should have, but from what I can tell, that's how he'd be feeling. You did go and see him when he asked though, that's commendable. If you don't like the guy as a friend, just treat him how you'd treat any other person you don't like. If you think he's an all right guy, just make it clear you don't want to date him.



  4. #4
    are you feeling it now JubJub's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    17

    Default

    "hi i am an acquaintance of yours and i probably don't even know your last name, but how come i wasn't invited to your birthday party"
    He has no right to feel bitter in this situation
    Spoiler!

  5. #5
    im a helicopter Omar Ranger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    over the Middle East dropping my payload
    Posts
    3,713

    Default

    The guy's a creep. Shut him down for good.
    Spoiler!

    Spoiler!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaglover1 View Post
    But now I'm like screw that, I'm skipping to the part where Bella finally combines with Edward

  6. #6
    ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ不朽的神皇春卷 ClericLordLeo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    3,561

    Default

    The dude can't take a hint... GGGGGGGGGG

    Just be very cold blunt with the guy and move on with your own lives.
    "look dude uhhh just no. BYE "

  7. #7

    Default

    kek

    gotta be 10
    Spoiler!

    i've lost my got damned mind

  8. #8
    Making the change Phazonkirby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    2,727

    Default

    Personally I wouldn't worry about it too much Grace. If the opportunity arises where it's suitable to say how you feel then that's fine. You don't really owe this guy anything, nor should you be expected to be extra nice or careful. It may not have been the best move to actively avoid him, since I can understand from what Blanks has said, but you weren't really to know how he'd act or react.
    Spoiler!

    My art blog

  9. #9
    Slime Grace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    202

    Default

    like I said I only actively avoided him bc I was uncomfortable and didn't want to lead him on.

    and I didn't end up talking to him about either of the two things, over FB or in person.


    hehehe

    solelygrace+saiarain <3

  10. #10
    ちび ithrow4luk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Omaha, NE
    Posts
    1,879

    Default

    sounds like 7th grade
    Quote Originally Posted by kaglover1 View Post
    I was conceived around 4-5am.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •