Favorite Quotes Thread

[theshortgirl]

=Insert philosophical statement about life here=

[krnboy1009]

Once a Yankees, always a Yankees.

[RatPoison]

"Learning is not virtue but the means to bring us an acquaintance with it. Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. Let these be your motives to action through life, the relief of the distressed, the detection of frauds, the defeat of oppression, and diffusion of happiness." -Nathanael Greene

[FourthTime]

"If I wasn't me, I'd wish I was." - Me.

"Society has defined what beautiful is:
Blonde,
Thin,
Big tits." - Stephen Colbert

"Self improvement is masturbation." - Tyler Durden

"Power, money, food, sex, love. Can we ever get enough or will getting some make us crave even more?" - Carl Streator

[pyrofyr]

Well, expect length from me.

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
"Political correctness is tyranny with manners."
- Charlton Heston (1924-)
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."
- Yogi Berra
"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
- George Burns (1896-1996)
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947-)
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."
- unknown
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."
- Vince Lombardi
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
- James Branch Cabell
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
- Will Durant
"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means."
- Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.
"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head."
- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)
"Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together."
- Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
- C. A. R. Hoare
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

"Logic is in the eye of the logician."
- Gloria Steinem

"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."
- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)
"Behind every great fortune there is a crime."
- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
- Steven Wright
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man."
- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell
"The cynics are right nine times out of ten."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
- Woody Allen (1935-)
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)
"A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually."
- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."
- Charles William Stubbs
"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take."
- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."
- Sun Tzu
"A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar."
- Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)

" The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
- Alan Kay

"Never mistake motion for action."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)
"There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal."
- Sigfried Hulzer
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity."
- Irving Kristol
"A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood."
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)
"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole."
- Bill Wulf
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Write drunk; edit sober."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper
"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
"Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."
- Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

[krnboy1009]

Charlton Heston passed away 4 month ago.

[pyrofyr]

How is that a quote?

[krnboy1009]

How is that a quote?

lol Just pointing out something.

[ShinobiKage]

Lurr: "Blech! These candies are chalky and unpleasant!"
Wife: "And what is this emotion you humans call 'wuv'?"
Lurr: "Surely it says 'love'."
Wife: "No, 'wuv'! With an Earth 'w'. Behold!"
Lurr: "This concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us!"


Robot #1: "Administer the test."
Robot #2: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweety, or C: a large properly formatted data file?"
Robot #1: "Choose!" (Leela and Fry whisper)
Fry: "Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?"
Robot #2: "No, it is the bad kind of puppy."
Leela: "Then we'll go with that data file!"
Robot #2: "Correct."
Robot #1: "The flower would also have been acceptable."
Robot #2: "You may pass."


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)


Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

[DLH]

"The quieter you are the more you can hear," Ram Dass

"There's no point in being pessimistic; it'd never work out," Bottle Cap

"You should be the change you want to see in the world," Ghandi

"The bad news: there is no key to the universe. The good news: it was never locked."- I honestly can't remember

I'd have to boot up oblivion to get some more. wabbajack wabbajack wabbajack.

EDIT: oh wait: "sing to yourself so everyone can hear!" - Bighead

"The blind shall see, the lame shall walk, the short shall tall!"